It is true that I have had one year of silence on this blog. In December of 2020 I published my last entry on the AmaBhulu blog. Roundabout that time my mother’s newly returned cancer hijacked our family. She had originally been diagnosed with oral cancer on 1 October 2016, but fought that into remission in 2017. By end 2019 it was back and they could only provide limited radiation treatment, which pushed it back by about one more year.
Given that this last stage was during the COVID-19 pandemic lockdown here in British Columbia with the hospitals in a crisis, it was decided that we would nurse my mother, Nickie, here in our home. We thought this both sensible and considerate. Hospital beds were scarce and most attention went to the crisis stricken terminal COVID patients. Cancer took very much a second seat. I’m sure time will tell how many postponed cancer diagnoses and treatments led to preventable deaths.
In the very last week before her passing we received round-the-clock nursing attendance. By far the best nurse we had was a black lady from Jamaica who took one look at the situation and took command. I was 100% happy to follow her instructions. She did things “softly but firmly with a smile”. Along the way, we also had in-home support staff from Nigerian immigrants, who were great fun to deal with under terrible circumstances. One lady was called Lobola and I could explain to her what that meant in isiXhosa (bridewealth”). Her eyes went wide and she said that in Nigeria it meant “wealth”. So, Africa is a small place. I could speak to these ladies in a way I could not communicate with regular Canadians. Their faces lit up the moment I started talking to them. It was a small point of light in a dark time.
It has taken a long time to adapt to the sudden quiet in this house. After all, there are three relationships among three people, but only one among two, so there is now one third of the previous joint activity. Nickie’s influence on this home and on the community was huge. The Sunday after her passing, the sermon in our church was pretty much based on “What would Nickie have said?” After all, she had pointed out Biblical facts to the minister and to the assistant pastor who led the Church Meet. Condolences came from Canada, the United States, Britain, Germany and South Africa. She had touched many people’s lives.
Having shared almost every moment of the last months of her life, I can tell you that my mother gave up on life the moment Donald Trump lost the election in the USA. Until then she was quite lively, and asked every day to see what he had done that day and which of his demonstrably evil political enemies he had “slammed down” that day. She equated him to the character Trompie in South African culture, a very naughty boy with a heart of gold. On the other hand, she often said, “No, my child, he should not have said that.” The next day she would ask, “My Child, what has Trompie done today?” However, she even shut up her Church Meet group when they launched into their unthinking knee-jerk anti-Trump rants, which many Canadians seemed to think their duty. Facts did not seem to mean much to them. I do not think South Africans are capable of believing what extreme garbage was dished up to the lamentably unthinking North American public. It boggles the imagination and revolts me to this day. And much of it is now being revealed for what it really was by the Durham Probe in the US. Nickie is probably smiling in vindication.
I think I have now dwelt enough on the passing of this special lady who commanded so much respect from everyone she touched, the Afrikaner Farm Girl who had literally jumped over a cobra, who had broken the glass ceiling, who had won her own face-offs with both the Church and the Police, who had survived a terrorist attack by the ANC, and who outlived both Mandela and his terrorist chief, Joe Modise. I only wish the circumstances of her passing were more positive and that we could have had a proper funeral service. COVID made it impossible.
I am ready to proceed with the AmaBhulu Blog again. I am starting with a recent livestream with Scott Balson of Loving Life and with an interview with a great friend of civilized South Africans, Alex Newman, on his Sentinel Report.
— Harry Booyens
Sorry to hear about your Mum, they don’t make them like that these days. I wanted to ask if you consider the US election was stolen? The discussion I have with people about this, they always parrot the line “where is the evidence?”. Notwithstanding the social media censors any such evidence I would have thought most scientists would agree evidence should be supplied by those affirming a hypothesis not those refuting one. That is, to unseat a sitting President conclusive evidence should be supplied to prove an election free and fair in a case of dispute. The challenger should not be required to prove a negative.
Warren, I’d prefer to comment elsewhere in more detail. What I will say here is that, clearly, “something is rotten in the State of Denmark”, to quote a more eloquent man than me.
Baie dankie, Harry.
Amazing, how you walk your readers through the last miles in the life of your mother. It is like a picture painted in words, and surely an inspiration to those who are either near that point in their own life, or accompany someone as you did.
Thank you for sharing. Merry Christmas and best wishes for you and yours.
Wolfgang, thank you for your kind words. Please have a wonderful Christmas and may your new year bring only good.
I’m also sorry to hear your news. What a shame that the panic resulting from the reaction to the plague limited her contact with the world, but it’s wonderful that you and your wife were both able and willing to care for her at your home. Also wonderful that you were able to find such wonderful people to help you care for her.
We have a dear friend who’ll turn 101 in January. Even though her health is amazingly good, the facility where she lives has basically had her in solitary confinement for almost two years now. She wasn’t even allowed to see her best friend / cousin just down the hall. Bless your mom for being a fighter, and bless you and your wife for stepping up and helping her leave in a loving and dignified way.
Steve,
thanks for your comments. The handling of the elderly over the last two years in Western Civilization does not stand it in good stead at all. If life is anything like normal, it will ultimately return the “favour”. I come from a part of the world that has huge respect for the elderly among all of the cultures and I find this very difficult. I’m pretty sure it was not like this here just a generation ago. Something has gone wrong deep in the collective woodwork. I take a dim view of the abject self-focused panic that seems to beset folks.
Wonderful summation, Harry; very unpleasant to live through, of course! Your Mother left us a Great Treasure in our being able to have your presence in our lives!! She must have been very proud of you!!
I concur, Harry. You are a South African blessing. Beryl.
Loxie and Beckie, thank you for your kind words.
Great to hear from you again. Very sorry to hear of your Mother’s passing, please accept my condolences in her passing. God’s blessings to you and your family.
Sanet, Thanks.
Dear Harry, I had a feeling things weren’t going too well with your Mom. I was going to write and ask how things were going. Thank you for sharing this with us all. I offer my deep condolences to you and your family. May she rest in peace.
Beryl
Beckie, thanks.
Hi Harry
Trust you are well
Sorry to hear about your mom
Take care
Kev
We’re fine, Kev. Thanks. These things happen to all of us and just take a little time.
Nickie will walk with you on the road that lies ahead. Keep walking. Best wishes.
Thanks John. I feel that. That is why I created that graphic above. It was a September sunrise here at our place and it worked for me.